The Book of Nicholas

The Book of Nicholas

In that year was the fullness and the fullness was made known. And the Lord spake and it was so and all did hear His voice and quake at His fury. And the Lord looked down upon His people of crimson and said “Ye have become a haughty people, full of pride and I shall remind ye of who is boss”. And so it was that He raised up those who always wore orange in the north from the hill known as Knox and those in the south who wore orange who lived upon the Plains and especially those in the east who wore red and black in the regions of Athens and He did smite the people of Crimson, for His wrath was great. And their enemies struck down the warrior named Tua Somethingnobodycanpronounce and the others.

And the people of Crimson did cry out with a great voice “Lord! Have we not been thy people and are we not the chosen ones?” And the Lord said “Thy pride hath made thee arrogant and I shall move my will upon Nicholas the Great and cause him to retire”. And the people cried “How? Why would the Great One retire with so many more battles to win and foes to vanquish?” And the Lord said “I shall offer him a lifetime supply of Little Debbies and it shall be so”.

And the Great One did retire and the warriors of crimson were become like empty sheaves and were vanquished by all- even those from the house that Vander built. And their anquish was known far and wide and celebrated by those who opposed them. And the region of their great battlefield did run red with the blood of their warriors. And the Lord saith “Never again must you think you are greater than me!”

And in Heaven at His right hand his beloved one, St. Paul Bear did say “Praise be to You, Lord. He almost made them forget about me”.  So saith the word of the Book of Nicholas and so it is and shall be. And the people said AMEN.